I'm pretty fucking tired of being pretty fucking miserable, pretty fucking much every fucking day. I'm just some fucking teenager right? Some cookie-cutter teenager looking for your pity, looking for your "sorry", for your attention, and full of that teenage angst bullshit. I'm not, thanks for the stereotype though. I'm pretty tired of crying my eyes out, I can't really feel them right now. I mean, I really try hard. Don't I? I think I try pretty fucking hard.
I've run out of those fun little impressive adjectives and witty one liners to sweep you off your feet and charm you. I'm pretty numb and raw and blank. All I want to do right now is find a bridge, a wonderfully tall bridge to project my body off of. I want to hit the water with a giant splash. I don't want the pedestrians to notice, I don't want the cars to brake and look over, I don't want the news team. I just want to pull an undercover Houdini, but disappear forever and not reappear somewhere you don't expect.
The most fun thing ever is to watch a finally happy day break right in front of you. Finally, a reason to rush home eyes gleaming. Finally, a reason to smile walking through the threshold of the front door. Finally, a reason to sit at the table and mingle. Finally, happy for a few moments. Then, oh so suddenly, oh so swiftly, oh so quietly, it gets crushed right in her palm. She takes your happiness, your long waited for happiness, and smashes it on the floor. Later, she passes to spit on it. I mean, it's only your happiness dying. That can't be too bad, right?
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